R&B Is Evil
by Sheo Darren
Summary: Partly inspired by The Oddity's Gift, Deathrasan, Nachtsider and my brother's first ever cassette tape. Triela starts a report on irony with a little tune she found. Hilshire is not happy. HilshrieXTriela fluffsuggested smutcomedy. Enjoy


**R&B Is Evil**

**  
**A GSG Fluff/Semi-Smut Fic

**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own GSG, Romeo and Juliet by Sylk-E. Fyne or Never Never Gonna Give You Up by Lisa Stanfield.

To **Deathra**: thanks for the concept, you sneaky girl, you... :); to **Nachtsider**, for the eternal support and beta reading; and to **The Oddity**, for the I-Pod to rule them all. :)

**  
** "For my report concerning Romeo and Juliet," Triela announced to the class as she plugged her I-Pod into a pair of sound speakers, "And with regards to the literary device 'irony' that we had just tackled yesterday in English class, I would like to ask everyone to listen carefully to this song, which I believe basically summarizes Shakespeare's play's premise and plot."

All ears in the classroom bent to accomplish the request.

**  
**_It's like Romeo and Juliet_

_Hot sex on a platta' just to get you wet_

_You's about to get in somthin' you will never regret_

_And it's gonna be the bomb this is what I bet_

_Yep!_

**  
**As the singer repeated the Refrain, his stunned audience groped for appropriate words to voice out their opinions.

"What is this?" Hilshire was the first to demand.

"Isn't it obvious?" Triela returned. "It's a song."

"It's filth!"

"It's **R&B**."

"It's **Evil!**"

"What makes you say **that**?"

"It used the…" Hilshire found himself violently torn between lecturing morality and swearing aloud in front of young girls. "The 'S-word'!" he finally managed.

"You mean 'sex'?"

Triela's airy question– and her casual usage of the dreaded S-word– drained the blood from Hilshire's face quicker than a vicious stab wound delivered by Pinocchio to his carotid artery.

Henrietta blushed. Claes successfully cupped her hands on Angie's ears before the latter heard the dread S-word. Rico blinked before blushing. Liesel's excellent left eyebrow rose a millimeter. Beatrice didn't react. Petra yawned.

"Jeez, Hilshire, it's not like none of us haven't heard the word before," Triela complained.

"It's that thing's fault, isn't it?" Hilshire's finger stabbed accusingly at the I-Pod. "That thing's putting garbage in your head!"

"Hilshire, you're making less sense than usual…"

"Give me that!" He made a grab for Triela's I-Pod.

"No!"

One of them– maybe both– accidentally thumbed the Next button. A new song began playing.

**  
**_Oh baby, you know I've waited, waited so long_

_To sing...to sing this song_

**  
** "Give it to me!"

"Let go! You'll break it!"

**  
**_Whatever, whatever, babe I'll do it_

_Forever and ever, yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah,_

_I'll see you through it_

**  
** "Triela!"

"Hilshire!"

**  
**_I've got to keep you pleased in every way I can_

**  
**Hilshire and Triela froze in mid-scream.

**  
**_Gonna give you all of me, as much or you can stand_

**  
**Everyone's eyes shifted to the speakers projecting the sultry voice across the whole room.

**  
**_Make love to you right now, that's all I want to do_

**  
**Everyone with a pair of working ears and a sense of modesty blushed.

**  
**_I know you need it boy and you know_

_I need it too, cause…_

**  
**All eyes turned on Hilshire and Triela.

At that very moment, Hilshire happened to be positioned right behind Triela (the latter having presented her back to him to fend off his attempt to relieve her of her precious I-Pod), his tall frame hunched down so that his broad chest bumped into the back of the blond's head and his arms reaching down over the girl's shoulders in a manner rather similar to a hug– or a perverted old man grabbing a girl's chest from behind.

**  
**_I've found what the world is searchin' for_

_Here, right here my dear, I don't have to look no more_

_And all of my days I hoped and I prayed_

_For someone just like you to makes me feel the way you do…_

**  
"HILSHIRE!!!"**

"**NO!!! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!"**

**  
**In the doorway, Alessandro, who had just been passing by, shook his head at the spectacle. _And people say __**I'm**__ the pedophile…_

**  
**_Never never gonna give you up,_

_I'm never ever gonna stop_

_Not the way I feel about you babe_

_I just can't live without you_

_I'm never ever gonna quit, 'cause quiting just ain't my schtick_

_I'm gonna lay right here with you and do all the_

_Things you want me to…_

**  
The End :)  
**


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